What's the message of your manners?
| Compared to the kinder, gentler society of a few decades ago, today’s world often seems cold and harsh. People are so busy looking out for their own interests that they show little concern for the feelings of others. In such an environment, the old-fashioned notion of manners seems oddly out of place.
Good manners, however, are a form of non-verbal communication. They are a silent statement of who we are and what we stand for. Common courtesy is not very common I’m constantly amazed at the number of people who will walk through a door and leave it to swing back in the face of the person coming behind them. And when I hold the door open for whoever is coming next, they often sail through with neither a glance nor a word of thanks! I must admit that I have been known to call after such people, “You’re welcome!”, but I’m not sure it makes any impression. As a child I was taught that it was good manners to be on time for appointments. If I had a dollar for every time I have waited in restaurants, hotel lobbies, office foyers and assorted other venues for friends or business acquaintances, I could take my husband out to a champagne dinner at the finest restaurant in town. Do they think my time is worth nothing? What happened to the once-universal custom of thanking people for their hospitality? We now have more ways of communicating with each other than ever before, yet dinner invitations, valuable business introductions and even gifts often go unacknowledged. Good manners simply represent consideration for others. If I hold a swinging door open for you, I am saying I want you to be safe. If I make sure I am on time for our appointment, I am saying I value your time. If I send you a handwritten note to thank you for lunch, I am saying I value your company. In all these actions, I am not following anyone’s rules, but simply being considerate. Think for a moment of some people you know who are pleasant to be around. Isn’t it true that part of their appeal is how they treat others? That’s what manners are. Because of the general lack of grace in the business world today, good manners have an additional advantage: they will make you stand out from the crowd. In this highly technological age, for example, handwritten notecards are so well received that people often keep them on their desks for weeks. If we all minded our manners, the world would indeed be a kinder, gentler place—as well as a more efficient one. © 2004 Helen Wilkie All Rights Reserved. You may reprint this article for your online or print publication so long as you include the complete article and the following paragraph: Helen Wilkie is a professional speaker, consultant and author who helps companies do better business through better communication. Her latest book is "The Hidden Profit Center". To received free monthly tips and techniques on communication, visit http://www.mhwcom.com or http://www.HiddenProfitCenter.com and sign up for "Communi-keys". Reach Helen Wilkie at 416-966-5023 or hwilkie@mhwcom.com |
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